What is trauma, really?

If you’re considering counselling for trauma, you’re not alone—and you’re not “too much,” “too late,” or “too broken.”

Many people in the UK are quietly carrying the weight of past trauma, unsure where to turn, or whether counselling will really help. If you’re exploring your options, this post is for you.

Here’s what many clients want to know when they first consider trauma counselling.

What is trauma, really?

Trauma doesn’t only refer to extreme or violent events. Yes, it can include things like abuse, accidents, or serious illness—but it also includes experiences that left you feeling helpless, frightened, or deeply unsafe.

In the UK, many people still carry the belief that “others had it worse” or that they should “just get on with it.” But trauma is about how an experience made you feel, not how dramatic it might look on paper.

Even experiences like emotional neglect, bullying, a difficult childhood, or growing up in a home where emotions weren’t talked about can be deeply traumatic. If something still impacts your sense of safety, self-worth, or relationships—it's valid.

How do I know if trauma is affecting me?

People often come to counselling for other issues such as anxiety, low self-esteem, perfectionism, anger, people-pleasing, burnout, only to realise that trauma is sitting underneath it all.

Signs trauma may still be impacting you include:

• Feeling stuck or numb

• Being easily triggered or overwhelmed

• Having a loud inner critic or shame voice

• Struggling with boundaries or relationships

• Avoiding things that remind you of the past

• Chronic tension, fatigue, or unexplained health issues

If any of this resonates, you’re not imagining it—and support is available.

What happens in trauma counselling?

Counselling doesn’t mean telling your whole story straight away, or re-living painful memories. A trauma-informed therapist will move at your pace, helping you feel safe and in control at every step.

Here’s what it might involve:

• Gently exploring how past experiences may be showing up in your present

• Learning to manage overwhelming feelings like shame, fear, or rage

• Understanding your nervous system and building emotional regulation tools

• Reconnecting with parts of yourself you had to hide, numb, or silence

• Creating space for healing, self-compassion, and choice

The goal isn't to “fix” you, because you're not broken, but to support you in making sense of what happened, and reconnecting with your power.

Will it be too painful or too intense?

A good trauma counsellor will help you go as slow as you need. You don’t have to tell everything, and you won’t be pushed to talk about anything you’re not ready to face.

Trauma work is about creating safety first—both with your counsellor and within your body. That might mean starting with grounding techniques, emotional regulation skills, or simply being heard without judgement.

Healing can be painful, but it can also be deeply empowering. And you never have to do it alone.

How do I find the right therapist in the UK?

I believe that it's really important to work with a fully qualified trauma counsellors and in the UK, you can find qualified counsellors through directories like:

• BACP

• Counselling Directory

• Psychology Today UK

  
  

Look for someone who is:

• Trauma-informed or has experience with trauma recovery

• Someone you feel safe with, even if it takes a few tries

• Someone who works at your pace and values collaboration

Many counsellors offer a free consultation to see if it feels like a good fit, trust your gut.

My Final thoughts

As someone who has experienced my own trauma I can tell you from experience that you don’t have to keep holding it all together on your own. Whether your trauma happened recently or decades ago, it’s never too late to heal. Counselling is not about revisiting the past just for the sake of it, it’s about understanding how the past might still be shaping your present, and choosing a different future.

If you're curious, nervous, or ready to explore trauma counselling, you're already doing something brave.

If you’re thinking about trauma counselling and want to explore whether it could help you, I offer a warm, non-judgemental space where we move at your pace. I’m a qualified counsellor specialising in trauma recovery, and I work online with women across the UK.

You can click here to learn more about how I work or book a free 20-minute consultation to see if we feel like a good fit.

You deserve support. You deserve healing. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Cathy xx